The Definitive Guide to Avoiding World Cup 2018

Not everyone is a fan of football, which means that for some of us, the next month is going to be torture. With constant footage on the TV, a swarm of office debates and sweepstakes, and endless football chants, avoiding the buzz is a full time job. Here is our definitive guide to avoiding anything and everything world cup related this summer.

How to avoid World Cup 2018

  1. Disable your phone – Airplane mode will probably work fine, but to be safe you should definitely bin it.
  2. Unplug your TV and radio – Most stations will either be showing the football or talking about it, and the ads will definitely be football themed – so it’s best to get it out of the house completely.
  3. Terminate all of your friendships – We recommend a mass email with a polite, yet firm note informing them of the end of your friendship (if you’re worried about GDPR, try a WhatsApp group).
  4. Take some time off work – It’s sweepstakes galore at workplaces all over the world, your boss will understand if you take the month off.
  5. Don’t leave the house – It’s too risky, there’s flags everywhere, radios blaring, chanting, even the postie can’t be trusted.
  6. Say goodbye to your family – Give them a call, it’ll be an emotional farewell but it’s not worth the risk. If you don’t want to cut them off completely, just ban them from any contact with you until mid-July.
  7. Build a one-person fort – If you’re unfortunate enough to live with family members and don’t have the luxury of a second home, find a quiet corner, stock up on pillows and blankets and build an impenetrable fort.
  8. Live off the grid – Find a nice cabin in a remote wooded area, get some solar panels, a well, grow some crops and become completely self-sufficient.
  9. If all else fails, give in to the mania and let your inner football fanatic out.

What extreme measures have you gone to to avoid the world cup this year? Send us your photos on Twitter (or if you’ve given in to the hype, we’d love to see evidence of that too!)

 

How to avoid the world cup