The Definitive Guide to Avoiding World Cup 2018
Not everyone is a fan of football, which means that for some of us, the next month is going to be torture. With constant footage on the TV, a swarm of office debates and sweepstakes, and endless football chants, avoiding the buzz is a full time job. Here is our definitive guide to avoiding anything and everything world cup related this summer.
- Disable your phone – Airplane mode will probably work fine, but to be safe you should definitely bin it.
- Unplug your TV and radio – Most stations will either be showing the football or talking about it, and the ads will definitely be football themed – so it’s best to get it out of the house completely.
- Terminate all of your friendships – We recommend a mass email with a polite, yet firm note informing them of the end of your friendship (if you’re worried about GDPR, try a WhatsApp group).
- Take some time off work – It’s sweepstakes galore at workplaces all over the world, your boss will understand if you take the month off.
- Don’t leave the house – It’s too risky, there’s flags everywhere, radios blaring, chanting, even the postie can’t be trusted.
- Say goodbye to your family – Give them a call, it’ll be an emotional farewell but it’s not worth the risk. If you don’t want to cut them off completely, just ban them from any contact with you until mid-July.
- Build a one-person fort – If you’re unfortunate enough to live with family members and don’t have the luxury of a second home, find a quiet corner, stock up on pillows and blankets and build an impenetrable fort.
- Live off the grid – Find a nice cabin in a remote wooded area, get some solar panels, a well, grow some crops and become completely self-sufficient.
- If all else fails, give in to the mania and let your inner football fanatic out.